STEVE:

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The don’t threaten her goes in one ear and out the other. He’ll threaten her as much as he WANTED to if that meant getting her to keep her hands OFF OF HIM. Every handler he’s had had hurt him in SOME WAY because the higher-ups did it and gave his handlers permission to do it in order to KEEP HIM IN LINE.

It seemed as if the threat had done its job, at least, he’s keeping her distance and that was ALL Steve needed. They weren’t friends and as far as he was concerned, she was AN ENEMY. They were all enemies. They ALL had some kind of hidden agenda, they all wanted to HURT HIM. 

“Yeah well, if they did to you what they do to me, you’d be killing them too.” Fuck the rules. Fuck all of the rules. Yeah, killing handlers got him in BIG TROUBLE but at least it was just ONE LESS person to hurt and assault him in the worst ways imaginable. 

“Don’t call me darlin’.” Steve snarled at her, lips pulling back in a snarl. Too many times he’s been called nicknames. So many nicknames. He can’t hear one damn nickname without thinking of them and darlin just happened to be on that LIST. “If you’re gonna call me anything, call me Steve.”

she mouths the name given to her, her mouth not accustomed to names that aren’t her own. she gives everyone a nickname, she picked up the habit from TRICKSHOT who always called her some saccharine nickname while he taught her to KILL, but names - names have powers, they hold pieces of the person with them and the GOOD CAPTAIN ( steve, steve, steve, her mind whispers ) has just given her a piece of himself without knowing. 

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❜  i’d kill them if i didn’t FEAR them more than i hated them.  ❜ she retorted, the words falling and sinking in her gut. she had been with them for too long, during years that counted as FORMATIVE, years when children learned and prospered and all she learned was hydra was the only home, only family that she could have. she owed her life to hydra and she’d serve them no matter what they did. ❜  you have a POINT though, steve  i’d probably kill them if i was you; you’re stronger and better enhanced then i am, you cut through them like butter according to the rumours, i don’t. ❜

she knows that physical strength means nothing when it comes to emotional and mental strength which she knows is something you need if you’re going to break away from hydra, but she’s on edge, she’s excused from having to think properly. ❜  it sucks that you get hurt though.  ❜ the words are cold and bland despite the sentiment she’s saying. still keeping her distance     

( she will never not keep her distance; he is a leashed dog, just waiting for the moment to snap - waiting for the other shoe to drop and while she’s been where he’s at, while she’s been that rabid leashed dog before, she has very little real sympathy. she knows not what’s been done to him and if she really thought on it, she knew she wasn’t sure if she really wanted to know, but sympathy isn’t in her dictionary, isn’t in any hydra agent or assets dictionary and so what she feels for him isn’t sympathy for being leashed, it’s pity mingling with the uncertainty that she feels about ow strong that leash really is. ) 

    she points to herself,  ❜  Clarissa, Claire, NEVER Hawkeye. Hawk if need be. ❜ He shared a piece, she’ll share a piece to keep it equal, she doesn’t need him claiming she cheated him out of something, not that she figured he would. but after such a long time as a hydra asset, she figured, she’d rather be safe than sorry.

 



The training is the only thing that makes me special.

Indie. Private. Highly Selective. Rule 63 Claire Barton. MCU based, 616 influences and verse.

And if I'm not special

oc, crossover, && au friendly.
multi-everything.


please read all pages before interacting.

then none of this is worth it

Written by Bubbles.

Established 2015.
Re-Est. November 2017